Hotel Cafe
I’m waiting for my Uber to Hotel Cafe. Covid seems to be on hiatus so Jesse Thomas is resuming her monthly hosted event, Jesse.And.Friends.
I could drive but I JUST DON’T WANT TO. I’d rather sit in a backseat and collect my thoughts. Plus, I can use that $15-per-month Uber credit I get from AMEX.
Heading south on Laurel Canyon I’m in my head. The other 5 songwriters will be more than half my age. And charting now. Me? Not charting so much lately. My sensibilities are not in synch with the Tik Tok generation.
Driver is wearing a mask. Me too. But what about inside the club? Surely someone will be walking around with 🦠 and they’re likely to brush up against me or share a mic! 😳
Ugh. I’ll wear a mask at least til I’m on stage. Shit, mask snapped. Cheap fucking mask. Well, that settles that. If I took my car, I’d have a trunkful. Grays, pinks, butterflies. N95s, shields, gloves, Purell, snacks. Water. Protein Bars. Bandaids. Hey, once a mom, always a mom.
Hotel Cafe is packed. If I don’t get Covid tonight I’m immune! But good for Jesse. Good for songwriters. Good for Hotel Cafe. Good for the music business that so many ppl came. I’m happy to be here but definitely feel some personal-space anxiety. Deal with it, Shelly. It’s gonna take a minute. I need to get back to the land of the living.
Jesse starts the show with a her hilarious wit and a few tight, I mean…sick/dope songs of her own. Then Tony Ferrari plays “Tell Your Dog” — a heartfelt pet-centric break-up song. Lots of rhymes. Wordplay on steroids. My ears are having fun trying to keep up.
Annika Wells performs, Kanner, Will Jay …all super pros. Powerful song crafting.
My turn. I’m not nervous. AT ALL. I LOVE that about getting older. I’m sooo good in my mom-skin. I tell everyone that I’m stoked to still be included on nights like this. It’s the truth.
I play “Bitch.” (On the piano. Adam told me it didn’t really make sense on the piano. But I feel it. So, fuck it.) Ppl sing along. I forget they know the words. This makes me feel 😃 !
Then I play “Almost Doesn’t Count” and then something even darker and sadder…”Love Is War.” Britney was supposed to record that one but she said it made her feel too vulnerable. Isn’t that what it’s about? (Maybe that’s just what the label told me).
I leave the stage thinking, “well done, self!” Lots of ppl give me love.
Surprise guest JP Saxe gets up there to the delight of the crowd and plays “If the World Was Ending” — a co-write with Julia Michaels. Stellar song. Have you not heard it? if not Here it is. It’s so good that I feel myself shrinking. After I felt so 😃! But then…
A 20-something writer/artist comes over to me and tells me how much he loved my “set.” I thank him and give accolades to all the other performers as well and he says…yeah but…ppl don’t think like that...in all those rhymes. You know…when they get into bed at night…they think like you write. That’s why your songs are still around 20 years later.
I hear him but I still wish I could rhyme my ass off. Even if nobody remembers the song in 20 years. 10 years. 5. A hit is a hit.
Still…I let myself revel in his compliment. His personal observation. I want to hug him. BUT 🦠 !
Plus, I do think that the way the lyric plays out in “If the World Was Ending” is the way ppl think. Very conversational. Julia’s style is to write the way she thinks. Rhymes or not.
And btw, there are other reasons why pre-digital delivery hits have more longevity. We can get into it some other time.
I don’t linger when the night is simmering down. All I can think about is my pajamas and another episode of The Drop Out. AND...a slice. I could walk a block in any direction and find one. Aha! Cahuenga and Hollywood Blvd.
Wait, What? 8 bucks for a slice?!
I’ll take it. I’d pay $50 for a slice right now. I’m desperate. Here’s $10. Keep the change.
There’s my ride home.
I roll down the window and thoroughly enjoy my $8 slice. North on Laurel Canyon I feel grateful. I’m glad I did it but I’m glad it’s over. Sometimes I think I still need to prove to myself that I matter. Here I come, pajamas.
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(video is sideways at first but straightens out quickly. 🙃)
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