Love Is War

We all  have that one song — that gem — the song nobody ever snapped up and made the obvious hit it was meant to be. And we can’t understand why. To be honest, I have quite few of them. At least 20. But…as I’ve said before, it really comes down to the right song at the right place at the right time. 

This is the journey of one of those songs. It’s also a nod to producers who do the right thing. 

It was 2010. Britney Spears was making a new album. I felt like I had some momentum because she had recorded another song I wrote “Out From Under” for her previous album Circus. Songwriters all over town were partnering up, trying to come up with something undeniably Britney.

One night I sat down at the piano with a glass of wine. Ok…2 glasses of wine. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what the girl had been through. How might she feel if she were still trying to get over Justin? (How do we all feel when we’re desperately trying to get over someone and we keep going back for more?) I didn’t know for sure that’s where her head (and heart) was at. But you have to start somewhere.

I began with my right hand toggling 2 notes. Off I went…channelling my inner Britney. It was as if something mystical took over. About an hour later I had “Love Is War.” (Check out the placeholder for the bridge) (and my cat meowing in the background). 

One of my favorite A&Rs Teresa LaBarbera-Whites loved the song and suggested I Britney-it-up with UK producer Fraser Smith. So I sent him the fully written song from the voice memo and he got busy. Soon he sent me a track from London. I recorded vocals on Garage Band and drop-boxed him the files. This is what he made:

Although there’s nothing like a virgin piano-vocal demo I adored Fraser’s approach as well. It was robotic, hypnotic, spaced out. Just like — well, Britney. It felt like a no-brainer. 

I agreed to split the song with Fraser 50/50 if she (or anybody for that matter) recorded it as his treatment might have been what it took for an artist to sign on. 

It was a thumbs-up from the Britney camp. I was very excited as you might imagine. I even allowed myself forbidden fantasies…like accepting a GRAMMY for Song Of The Year. 😃

But…alas, as many of these “I’m-going-to-have-a-big-fat-hit-me-baby-one-more-time” stories go, for whatever reason, (maybe God said “ha” for that indulgent fantasy) it didn’t fly. She didn’t record it. I stayed in bed for a week. Shades drawn. Inconsolable. But then I got out.

I pitched the song to Beyonce, Celine, Rihanna, Adam Lambert, Leona Lewis. Crickets. Maybe it was too dark for its time…(right song, wrong time?) It was after all, just before pop radio got flooded with dark ballads.

Devastating as these lost opportunities can be we have to move on with our lives. Write new songs. And of course, I did. 

When it was time to choose material for my own album, I revisited my gem(s). If I were to record “Love Is War,” I wanted to return to the rawness with which I received it that day on my piano bench.

After a lot of thought I reached out to Fraser and explained the situation. I asked if he would consider relinquishing his half of the song if I went back to the original incarnation. How many producers can you imagine would agree to that? None, right? He did. #ClassAct. (Had he been there since conception I would never have made this request).

“Love Is War” is the only song on my record for which I played the piano myself and needless to say I started it off with my right hand toggling those same 2 notes. We brought in cellist Jean-Paul Barjon. And then we mixed. Simple. 

Would I be ecstatic if Katy Perry called out of the blue and said she wanted to cut it? Yep! Do I think it would be a great song for her? Yep. I do. But let’s be real. It’s not going to happen. Pop stars co-write their own material and have their own posse of producers they work with. It wasn’t always like that, but it is now. You really have to be in the room. That’s ok. Releasing it myself gave me some closure. Perhaps not a Grammy 😩or a royalty statement I can frame. But closure is something. 

Some songs hit the ground running right out of the studio. Some have nine lives and still never get on the radio. If it’s a gem, be happy you wrote it. It doesn’t mean it’s less of a song if it doesn’t reach the masses. 

Sure, it’s easy for me to say. But actually it isn’t. I’m a songwriter. I’ll always have a knot in my stomach when I think about what could have been. 😞

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