Midnights

I was looking forward to listening to Midnights. I knew it would provoke discourse between the two Shellys and make me want to write this blog. 

There’s a typical conversation I have with myself when Taylor Swift drops an album. I’m having it again.

Wanna hear it? Here goes:

Bad Shelly: I wonder who she’s channeling this time? As much as I loved Folklore it was pretty obvi that she’d had been obsessing over Phoebe Bridgers. 

Good Shelly — Now, Now, Myself. We all have influences. 

Side note (very early on in blog) —  when I set up my iPhone and it asked me what I wanted to call myself, I told it “Myself,” figuring that if the device was so smart, it would understand that ‘myself’ was my name — ‘Shelly.” But it wasn’t that smart cuz to this day my iPhone addresses me as ‘Myself’ — as in, ‘who do you want to text, Myself?’ 😵‍💫

Bad Shelly: Track 1 — “Lavender Haze” — Did someone say Muna? Haim?

Good Shelly: Sure, but every artist (and songwriter) is influenced. And don’t you love how she sounds in that her low register? 

Bad Shelly: Whatevs. “Maroon”- only 2 ‘fucks’ in that song. They feel forced. 

Good Shelly: Spoken by the girl who wrote “Bitch.”

Bad Shelly: “Bitch” was NOT gratuitous profanity.  And “Anti-Hero” … Meh. 

Good Shelly: Girl! That track is #1 this week. The people’s fave! 

Bad Shelly: It’s just that I have doubts she’s really living the life she writes about — from the perspective of the every girl. Cuz she’s NOT the every girl. Maybe she’s channelling whatever every girl wants to hear. 

Good Shelly: What’s wrong with that? Young women need a role model. Someone who’s been through it.

Bad Shelly: Yeah but … inauthentic! Like “You’re On Your Own Kid” … So much unrequited love. Really? She has a boyfriend. I hear they’re super happy.  

Good Shelly: Can’t a girl write about past relationships that went south? The 2 of us do all the time. I mean, a songwriter can muse about those heartbreaks forever. From all different angles. The hurt, the healing, the stumbling, the falling in again … it never goes away. 

Bad Shelly: IDK. Ed Sheeran does it too — ‘what do all the girls wish their boyfriends would say to them?’ And that’s what he writes about. The artists to whom I’M drawn are (I believe at least) writing about their own lives. Let’s hear from Taylor about her experience with being super famous and wondering who her true friends are. The ones who aren’t afraid to tell her “no” or the truth. Coming from Taylor THAT would be compelling for ME. But who am I? 

Good Shelly — Debbie Downer! My college songwriting students love her. So do a lot of my ‘grown-up’ friends.

Bad Shelly: NYT Journalist Lindsay Zoladz sees my point. She says Taylor “sounds more authentically like an ambassador of millennial unease … it’s hard to consider much of anything about her life ‘relatable’ — which poses an artistic challenge for a singer-songwriter who prizes connection with her audience.’ 

Good Shelly: Geez, girl … her lyrics are pretty fresh. She’s a wordplay enthusiast, the double-syllable soft-rhyming queen if there ever was one. And to boot, at least she’s not posing in a garter belt! 

Bad Shelly: You don’t have to be undressed to be provocative. I mean just look at her top of this blog. It’s almost hotter than naked! She’s not stupid.  

Good Shelly: SIGH

Bad Shelly: “Snow On The Beach” (only 1 “fuck”) — Now THAT one speaks to me. The yearning for something (someone) to happen … and you know it’s impossible. Been there! Beautifully executed concept. I wish I wrote it. 😩 Wahhhh. 

And no surprise —  its whole vibe is more like Folklore. Midnights is no Folklore! Remember lockdown? How we couldn’t get enough of Folklore — devouring it over and over again floating in the pool? 

But why did she sing “AT the beach” instead of “ON the beach” on the first line of the first chorus? An honest mistake she decided to keep? A secret message? What —  Taylor Swift plant a secret message???

Good Shelly: Listen to you! You’re so cynical. Always have to find something to pick at. Even in a song you admit to coveting. But yes, I remember devouring Folklore over and over again floating in the pool. (Also drinking lots of wine. And eating gummies!) 

Bad Shelly: Maybe I’m too jaded, too old?

Neh. I Love Finneas! I adore King Princess and she’s 23! Olivia Rodrigo and she’s 19! They’re all less calculated to my ear. Not such shiny perfect problems. Believably troubled. Never heard of King Princess? Understandable. She’s not a marketing master-mind. 

Speaking of which … on marketing release week, Taylor dropped four vinyl and CD versions of “Midnights,” each with their own color and artwork. Her website shamelessly encourages us to buy all of them! (Target carries an exclusive “lavender” version with bonus tracks.) 

Not to mention…the clock!

Good Shelly: What clock? 

Bad Shelly: On the back of the 4 vinyl editions are numbers (1 though 12) which, when placed in the correct arrangement, form the hours of a clock. And for an extra $49, you can purchase a kit to ASSEMBLE the clock — shelves to hold up the covers and a brass minute hand and hour hand (on which Taylor’s name is embossed) “to help you tell time”— Taylor’s own words. The base is additional $$$ and then there’s the cost of the handyman to hang it. (Did someone say “inflation”? Doesn’t she know we’re all broke!?) 

If I were a Swiftie I might blow ALL my babysitting money on TAYLOR’s music and Merch. Which would mean I wouldn’t have anything left in PayPal for Harry or Steve Lacey or Beyoncé. Maybe that’s the strategy. Because if I was selling more physical music than anyone and Billboard was crunching data like they do I’d OWN the charts. There’d be no territory left for anyone else. 

I REST MY CASE

Good Shelly: Hmmm

Bad Shelly: Doesn’t it seem like she’s taking advantage of hard-core fans who are eager to own ALL THINGS TAYLOR — fans who might be struggling to make rent or pay for uber? All because of a fevered compulsion to be #1?

Good Shelly: Ok. Point taken. But you can’t deny her talent. 

Bad Shelly: I don’t. But sometimes I’m unable to give her the kudos she deserves because she’s so calculated, effective, brilliant! She has everything. I mean … if were a billionaire I could have (or make it appear that I had ) everything too. The best hair, skin, smile, collaborators, interns, photographers, retouchers.

Good Shelly: OMG. You’re jealous! She has a gift. All her stars collided. She earned her billions by doing what she does. It’s not like she had the billions to begin with. 

Bad Shelly: Yeah. But she had rich parents. 

Good Shelly: The money wouldn’t have mattered if she didn’t have The Gift.

Bad Shelly: Stop being so fair!  

Good Shelly: Go take a bath. Move on. Think about how good “Snow On The Beach” is. 

Bad Shelly: Ok. But it’s no Folklore. Folklore was way better.

Good Shelly: I know I know. Get over it! 

And so it continues. 

I can’t decide whether Taylor Swift is the girl I love to hate or the girl I hate to love. I guess she’s a little bit of both. 

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