Songwriting With Your Honey
It only makes sense that musicians are attracted to musicians. They speak a common language and have a common obsession.
For me the attraction started with Paul McCartney and never stopped — cute dark-haired guitar players. Adam was one. Though he had other characteristics that appeared to balance out my raison d’être if you will. We were suited.
When we met I was on the pop songwriting tragectory — running off to fertilize backing tracks with the latest producer of the month; he was on the film scoring track, alone in his studio writing cues. In that way we were living in separate worlds.
And that was a good thing because how much time can you spend with one person? We needed our own space.
Besides, it was never a goal to be collaborators. We were both happily doing our very own things. It wasn’t until Covid, when we were all faced with the challenge of convening with other humans (or writing on Zoom — which I couldn’t stomach) that we turned to each other and said.\, “I guess you’re it.” Hey, Barry and Cynthia did it. The Bergmans. Carole and Gerry. There have been hundreds of spousal collaborative teams. We too were about to explore this conjugal dynamic.
During lockdown we got hired to write a couple of songs for a kids’ film. We formed The Clams and played in our Laurel Canyon driveway for our neighborhood friends.
We embarked on our first Musical with fellow songstress Lucy Levinsohn. Then Adam and I got tapped by 2 Broadway producers to compose songs for their project. All these endeavors put the us in the same room for many more hours than ever before. Gulp.
And it has been interesting.
There’s a comfort and a familiarity when you work with a partner. And because of that, you may not be as polite as you would be with a stranger. For instance I’ve always put forth the idea that one must dare to suck in the writing room which means — you can’t be afraid to say something ridiculous because a very silly word can lead to the money — you know, something in the aesthetic or the amount of syllables.
But when I dare to suck I often catch Adam wincing. Actually wincing I tell you! As if I don’t know what I’m doing. (I’m sure he’ll chime in here with his own take … tell you how impatient and bossy I am.) Even though I know it’s in his nature to wince, it’s rude, unhelpful and unproductive. I doubt he would wince if it were a director with whom he was working on a scene.
Of course, I know he knows I know what I’m doing. And, I have an abundance of self-confidence. But still.
Sometimes I just let it slide as perhaps I’m aware my idea did kinda of suck. However, there have been occasions when I push for it and he humors me only to find … it’s brilliant. He smiles. I can tell he likes it. But, apology? Never. 😡
But it’s worth it because, after living most exclusively in scoring land Adam happens to be a proficient writer-of-song. He has many-a-tasty inclination. Although he has his share of zingers too. But I do NOT wince.
When Lucy is in the room with us she’s had to endure these awkward spats or (or mansplaining). She pretends to be texting so as not to embarrass us. But honestly, I’m not embarrassed. It’s become part of the process. And thankfully we move on quite quickly.
Working with a mate has its conveniences too. A missing word or line may come to us while I’m brushing my teeth and he’s shaving. I’ve dreamt a line in the middle of the night and poked him awake in excitement. I get up in the morning and he’s still in pajamas already tinkering with something from yesterday. We get to it over coffee. This constant finger on the pulse keeps us in-flow and the songs progressing.
After many pros and very little cons (except for the WINCING) we’re mutually delighted by this fertile creative world that’s revealed itself. By the possibilities. By the re-inserting ourselves into a business that’s been overtaken (quite understandably) by the young and the younger. We have meaningful exciting work to do again and we’re having fun doing it. Wincing and all. 😳
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