Happy Travels
I don’t know about you but for me re-entering a not-so-post COVID world comes with some re-acclimation anxiety.
I was off to the airport a few weeks ago to journey from LA to New York to reunite with my daughter. Like most of you I haven’t flown in over a year and I kind of had to re-learn the drill.
After I checked my bag I took inventory of all articles I had with me: my carry-on, my side-pack and a waistband which has a little slit where I keep my phone. I promised myself that in order to prevent any phone-panic-en-route I would always put my phone back in there. Always!
I got on the plane with an N95 (a claustrophobic but necessary new accessory for air travel) and practiced deep breathing. Seriously. I’ve never been anxious in my life. I am anxious now. Not about COVID. I’m vaccinated and adhere to protocol. I’m anxious about losing things. Like my phone.
I settled into my seat and put my glasses, my AirPods and my phone ‼️on my tray table ‼️ just temporarily‼️When the plane took off, because it was on an incline, everything slid off that tray table, including — you guessed it — my phone.
My eyes bugged just like my favorite 😳. Holding onto our phone is a physical addiction. It’s an object of comfort. And at that moment when I needed so much comfort it was … under my seat. Somewhere. Hopefully.
Frantically I bent down and thrashed my hand around. I found my glasses and my AirPods. No phone. The Flight Attendant caught my distress, knew exactly what had happened and offered to help. But as I had upgraded to a fancy seat the metal conglomeration beneath it, which allows for so many reclining options, didn’t leave much room (or light) for visibility or exploration. Flight Attendant shined a flashlight from her cell. No phone. She tried calling my phone to no avail — we were high above the clouds. She proceeded to disassemble and remove the Velcro’d cushions from my seat as if she’d done it a million times. Together we stared down through the metal. No phone.
Flight Attendant #2 politely asked the man seated behind me, and the sleeping traveler behind him, to stand so we could check their area. No phone.
Flight Attendant #3 came down the aisle with a pair of kitchen tongs that she straightened into one long piece of metal so she could swipe it back-and-forth under my seat. No phone.
I panicked at the thought that it could have slid under the storage bin attached to the side of the plane next to my seat — it had an inch of an opening at the bottom — just enough room through which a phone could slide and fall to the baggage compartment below.
The lovely attendants said that when we landed they’d call maintenance. WHEN WE LANDED??? It could take an hour or so for them to arrive but it was my only hope. I could use their phone to call my sister to let her know why I wasn’t in the pick-up area but in the meantime they wanted to give it one last try because they couldn’t go home until maintenance and all passengers were off the plane.
Flight Attendant #3 (with the tongs) got back down on her knees and swiped that utensil back-and-forth, a final dedicated attempt at retrieving my phone. (I love women who don’t give up!) I crouched down in back of the seat in hopes of catching it when it miraculously flew out. That didn’t happen. What did happen was, while my left hand was poised to catch the device my right hand held my sweater to my tummy and .... I noticed a curious rectangular object in my waist belt. And it sure felt like my phone.
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
I absolutely positively could not tell them about this discovery. What I chose to do might be unconscionable but I ask you what would you do? I told them that Flight Attendant #3 must have swiped those tongs across an uncharted area because look what flew out! I held up my phone. We all jumped for joy.
I got back in my seat. You’d think I would’ve been relieved and happy. I was. But I was also very concerned. Because…
1- I saw that phone fly off that tray table with my own eyes. Finding it on my body was the closest I’ve come to believing there is a God.
2- If I didn’t see it that means I was hallucinating.
3- But if it did fly off the table I have no recollection of putting it back in my waist belt.
Wouldn’t you be concerned? My local KCRW broadcasts a daily gentle reminder that COVID has made us all anxious. I’ll say.
I needed to calm down. So I watched Frozen.
Moving on.
Then…I spent 3 weeks in New York City doing my favorite things: walking around everywhere and anywhere and spending time with people I love.
I met the littlest member of my family for the first time.
I dined in many-an-outdoor cabana. When the pandemic is over they should leave them be.
I picnicked in Prospect Park with some of my favorite NYC creative gals…
I was serenaded by my favorite father-in-law, Al Gorgoni…
I spent one-on-one time with my favorite girl. When we’re together I forget everything about me except that I’m her mom. Young people beware — this may happen to you some day.
She introduced me to Instagram’s Pillow Face filter (what you’d look like with too much filler and botox). We laughed so hard.
On the return flight I kept my phone in my waist belt and didn’t touch it the whole trip.
And then…normal life resumed pretty quickly. Yesterday a nurse concierge came to my home to test me for COVID because today I was the guest of Katie Daryl on AXS TV (airing in July). We talked favorite songs, albums, Pandemic Anthems.
And lastly, I received a copy of my college transcript because I need to send it to the school where I’ll be teaching in the fall…to prove that I have a degree. I forgot what a mediocre student I was — graduated with a whopping 2.8. This has me worried that they’ll change their mind about me teaching. Adam laughed because I got a D in Economics 101. He knows how bad I am at paying bills. He whipped out his college transcript. All A’s and a few B’s at Harvard no less. At least I know what I’m talking about when it comes to songs. 2.8? So what. 4.0 doesn’t guarantee you can write a hit.
Thanks for listening. Go take that trip. Keep your mask on. Put your phone back in a designated pocket. Always ‼️
See you next week.
PS. I sent an email to American Airlines expressing my gratitude for the 3 ladies who went above and beyond the call of air travel hospitality. And they responded in kind…
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