It’s Ok Not To Be Ok
It’s Ok not to be Ok.
Jessie J blurted out those words on the day we wrote “Who You Are.” Right over there in my living room. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure about that line. But now, I’m glad she said it.
Because I need it. A lot of us are not Ok. And it’s become a mantra.
When my daughter was going through a break up last year I suggested she take a Sharpie and write the world “Temporary” on her wrist. Like a tattoo. It would always be an arm’s length away. When she was having a bad day, it would remind her that it wasn’t forever. The letters would fade with every shower and before she knew it, they’d be gone completely just like her broken heart.
A couple of weeks ago I took a Sharpie and wrote “Temporary” on my wrist. It’s almost all gone now but nothing has changed. The curve ain’t any flatter.
I’ve been putting on a brave face. I mean I don’t think it’s the end of the world by any means. It’s just that there’s no light at the end of the virus. Give me a date. Tell me Oct 1. Dec 1. June 2021. I can live with that. At least it’s finite.
Sometimes I get into bed at night after a hopeful day and have a “what if” moment and lose my sense of humor entirely. What if it is forever. Or even just for another 2 years? ARG! Remember all those hilarious memes circulating in March about life-in-quarantine — that poodle talking about us “2-Leggeds?” Where are they now? Nobody’s laughing anymore.
But…It’s Temporary!!!
I’m trying to stay creative but from what do we draw inspiration when we’re standing in place — unable to witness the world going by from behind the windshield of our car while a song is on the radio? Unable to read peoples’ faces as we walk past them on the street.
I keep thinking if I were a college freshman, I’d take a gap year and travel. And then I remember. There’s nowhere to go. No one will have us. Speaking of travel, you know what I did to cheer me up? I ordered a new really roomy travel toiletry bag. When it arrived I spent an evening filling all the compartments. It made me so happy. It made me feel like someday I’m going to go somewhere again. 😳
Am I being a Debbie Downer? I’m usually so optimistic. My glass is always half full. I show my best side, my best ringlight -lit photo. I guess I’m letting you know it’s not all rosy over here. And if you’re feeling down, you’re not alone.
It’s Ok not to be Ok. It’s Temporary!
I put my daughter and her (new) honey on a plane back home this morning. They had come to visit for 3 glorious weeks. It was awesome because they couldn’t go anywhere! So, we chilled. We cooked. We swam. We talked. I loved it. But now they’re gone. Wahhhh….back to New York City.
And speaking of New York — they did it! They flattened their curve! I swear we should have a contest: the states that flatten their curve the fastest split the Power Ball winnings between them. You know those curves would flatten over night. Am I right? Money talks.
#Temporary.
I believe what my go-to news sources tell me. (How f*cked up would it be if Fauci was lying?) But I want to believe the other side of the story: that it’s not as serious as they’re making it out to be, that the numbers are inflated. Because if they’re right, we’ll get through it sooner. My friend Annie says that “when we’re under duress, we might confess to a belief in practically anything.” I’m under duress! I’d be happy and relieved if my trusted news sources were wrong. I pray they’re wrong.
I’m dropping my full album in Aug. “Who You Are” will be on it. Little did I know when I was in the studio recording it how much I would need it later. Thank you, Jessie!
It IS Ok not to be Ok. Why should we be?
I’m hanging in.
Just Sharing.
How are you?
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